The cliché’ “always a bridesmaid-never a bride” is said about 100 times a week in my profession. I started as a wedding planner back in 2017. I had always loved the organization, beauty, and happiness that goes into each wedding that is planned. I, however, struggled with those same adjectives in my own life -organized, beautiful, and happy, after my Ostomy surgery three years ago.
It all started when I was 25, and I was helping organize a graduation open house for my cousin. Thus began the desire to plan events, and the love of organizing and setting the stage started. We had been working for several days in the July heat, and I started having extreme pain in my stomach. I, of course, just thought I was tired due to the heat and long hours. I often tend to be one of those people who like just to push through, but on this particular day, the pain brought me to my knees. I was rushed to the emergency room, and the hours turned into days, and surgery was scheduled and performed.
When I awoke from the procedure to repair my ruptured colon, I was devastated to find out that they were unable to repair my colon fully, and a colostomy bag was needed. How do I move forward with this new reality? How do I ever feel pretty again? After a lot of soul searching and support from friends and family, I was able to become very accustomed to the upkeep and logistics of my new reality. I would have to say that the initial shock was more than I thought I could handle. I’m human, and this was not “normal” in my sphere of influence.
Eventually, I decided to not sick back and wait for life to happen to me anymore and to go after what I truly wanted to do. That is when my career as a Wedding Planner took off. I used my colostomy bag to help encourage the brides and families that I encountered to see themselves as beautiful just the way they are. Believe me, there were times when I was inconvenienced with the maintenance or the ability to hide it under my clothing while working with clients, but I tried to push through the insecurities this world likes to throw at us. Thankfully my job has never been affected since I made the decision to focus on the here and now and all the things that I had going for me. Everyone has something, and I didn’t want my something to change me into someone I wasn’t.
This experience was devastating, to say the least, but it has taught me so much about myself, and I have had the pleasure of working with several brides thus far that have endured many hardships and trials as well. I believe that our scars represent what we have gone through, but I also like to think that our scars make it possible for others to see us through a different lens. I am happy to say that five years post-surgery, I am stronger than I ever thought possible, and I am able to empathize so much more effectively with others like myself who struggle with the insecurities this world like to place on them.
Ostomy Business 